Thoughts on Disability Day of Mourning

Filicide, COVID ableism/abandonment, abuse and neglect of disabled people in New Hampshire, and the importance of building a world that centers disability justice

Content warning: discussion of filicide (murder by parents/caregivers), death, abuse, neglect, and ableism

Today is Disability Day of Mourning.

According to Autistic Self Advocacy Network:

In the past five years, over 548 people with disabilities have been murdered by their parents, relatives, or caregivers.

There was just recently the tragedy of two autistic brothers, Leon and Otis Clune, who were murdered in Australia by their parents. When these incidents happen, people often have sympathy for the parents because they view disabled children as burdens.

The ways caregivers/parents complain about the disabled people in their lives are not inherently harmless or neutral. While there are wonderful parents and caregivers who genuinely care for their disabled children, there are others who view them as burdens. In these instances, the way they view their disabled children and the way they portray them to others is harmful and often dangerous for their children. Of course caregivers need more support, of course there are genuinely good, anti-ableist caregivers, but there are also too many who talk about disabled people like they are broken, like they are burdens, like they are mistakes, like they are disappointments, like they aren't even human.

Since 2020, the disabled community has also been mourning the lives of disabled who have been killed by COVID infections and the collective ableism we have experienced for six years now. The ableist lie "Don't worry, only disabled and elderly people will die from COVID" has been replaced by another ableist lie: "COVID isn't here anymore, you're crazy for still caring about it." People "move on" while those with Long COVID and ME/CFS have been abandoned without effective treatments or adequate support, on top of the cruel medical gaslighting they have experienced for years. And the number of people with Long COVID and ME/CFS is always increasing.

I want to highlight something else this year as well: in my state of New Hampshire, our disability community experienced a tragedy in the form of an investigation that revealed abuse and neglect of disabled people in our care system. I was aware that unfortunately this is something that happens everywhere, and I'm glad this investigation took place so accountability and change can occur, but that doesn't make it any less heartbreaking or infuriating to hear these stories. It doesn't bring back the people who were lost. I am glad that disability-led organizations are working on bringing about change. There have been community vigils and conversations happening as a result of these investigations. But if you didn't already: you need to know that neglect and abuse of disabled people who are being cared for by others is unfortunately a reality everywhere. We will never hear many of the stories, but when we do hear them, we need to listen and act.

If you were unaware about any of this before, please take today to educate yourself about filicide and the violence and neglect that too many disabled people experience. There are lots of vigils you can attend today and resources you can learn from.

A few resources you should look into:

https://disability-memorial.org

https://autisticadvocacy.org/mourning/

We need to create a world where these things don't happen, a world that centers disability justice and truly values disabled people.

Disabled people deserve to live in a world where they're valued and protected. In order to build that world, more people need to educate themselves about the filicide (murder by parents/caregivers) that has happened to too many disabled children, in addition to educating themselves about disability justice. More people need to learn about the ableism that disabled people have experienced related to COVID, and examine their own role in that ableism and normalization of disabled deaths and abandonment of disabled people, especially those with Long COVID and ME/CFS. I'm devastated by what the disabled community in New Hampshire has experienced and I hope New Hampshire works towards making serious changes in the care that disabled people receive. Disabled people deserve so much better and we have to work towards building an anti-ableist world, for everyone's sake.